


Losing Control

by WindyRein



Series: Master of Control [3]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Italics galore, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-10
Updated: 2012-11-10
Packaged: 2017-11-18 09:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/559393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WindyRein/pseuds/WindyRein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I never gave you permission to leave. Who told you to go and walk away?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Losing Control

**Author's Note:**

> If you've read any of my stuff over at ff.net, you'll already know I'm absolutely incapable of ending anything without character death :D So, here you go.
> 
> And again with the "no, I've no idea what the hell's going on in canon" and to be frank, the 14th might've beheaded the Earl before dancing on his grave for all I care :D
> 
> Go on ahead and try to enjoy ^^

You once told me that I had you under my control, something like a spell you said. Then again you had laughed after telling me of my power over you. Maybe you never really meant it. Maybe it was all just a way to get me to drop my guard and... No, you would’ve never done that. You had too kind of a heart. If that’s true, if it really is true that you are under my control, then you should know I didn’t give you permission to leave. I never said you could just go.

What in the world gave you that impression? Who told you to go and walk away and leave me here? What was it that made you leave? Or am I a fool in even asking? I know what made you leave. Maybe I should really ask, why? Why’d you do something so utterly stupid and yet so very courageous at the same time? 

No-one would’ve guessed you’d do something like that. They all thought you were too selfish. Why they thought that? Why all people see is the mask and not the person underneath it? Why were you so stupid that you left me here with my mask and those wannabe friends of mine? I don’t need them. They don’t know me.

Though I shouldn’t be questioning things childishly when I know what has happened and that it cannot be reversed in anyway. I can’t help it though. I just keep asking myself and thinking that maybe if this would’ve happened earlier, maybe if that would’ve been differently. But still...

...I wonder...

_A flash of red so bright..._

...what it was...

_...that it burns your eyes if caught in the right way..._

...that made...

_...raining red, like feathers and pearls..._

...you just jump...

_...coughs, those painful coughs..._

...there, right in the...

_...you smiled at me..._

...way of the speeding...

_...with that look that..._

...silver blade of death?

_...told me you..._

In the way of the...

_...had figured out something..._

...blow that was meant...

_...that had troubled you for a long time..._

...for the one able to...

_...you spoke and I knew..._

...stop this war by...

_...those would be the..._

...killing the man that...

_...last words I’d hear from you..._

...had started it all...

_”Allen, I think I love you...”_

...thousands of years...

_...you smiled at me and..._

...before any of this happened...

_...the only thought that came to my mind..._

...why’d you jump in the way of that blow...?

_...oh shit..._

It was never about love.

It was always about _control_.


End file.
